


Hidden Kinks

by gala_apples



Series: Get Xander Laid Season Five [8]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Crossdressing, F/M, Underwear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-31
Updated: 2011-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-28 13:47:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/308497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Episode 5x08: Shadow</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hidden Kinks

In the rush of Riley shoving him down the stairs and then nearly lighting him on fire, Spike hadn’t really had a chance to look at the panties he had grabbed. He was a man of opportunity, not of logical follow-through. Unfortunately, the lack thereof had led Spike to an utterly disturbing conclusion. The knickers in Buffy’s drawer weren’t Buffy’s. For a nauseating moment he thought they might be Riley’s, and that mental image made his brain want to throw up. Thankfully though on closer inspection that wasn’t it. Riley smelled like locker room odour and spit shined boots - and lately depression, not that he cared. Praise whatever above, the knickers did not smell like that.

He knew they had to be close though, because the scent was familiar, just not in an ‘I’ve tortured and starved you’ way. So like any sane person would, he went to The Magic Box and buried his face in the armpit of each Scooby, where their scent was thickest. Of course he got beat around the head and shoulder a lot, but it was worth it. He was too curious and selfishly concerned to let it go. It was bad enough to compete with Riley, but if Buffy had a secret lover too? They had to be called out.

Unless it was Dawn’s knickers, in which case it was just a laundry mix-up, and he'd burn the pair because Dawn was what? Ten? And that was just gross. But they weren’t hers. Dawn was cloyingly sweet, like five hundred different lip glosses mixed and poured into a pool.

Eventually though, he found his target. Once the person was defined as Definitely Knicker Owning, Spike escorted them out the door into the training room, and proceeded to calmly explain himself.

“Wait, you’re yelling at me? You’re the one sniffing people like some sort of creepy platinum dog thing.”

“Are you fucking Buffy?” he shouted.

“No!”

“Right, sorry, sexist. Buffy fucking you then?”

“Also with the stunned and appalled no!”

“Are you sure? Be honest man, won’t be mad if you are shagging.” Well, he would, but there was no need for Xander to know that.

“A. why would I ever tell you if I was, and B. no! I’m dating Anya, she’s with Riley-” for now, Spike added mentally, he knew it was only a matter of time, “and we don’t cheat. Now what the hell is your problem?”

“Your underwear, and an interesting pair I must say, in Buffy’s drawer. A vampire can only add one and one together so long until-”

“Until they get eleven.” Xander interrupted. “Just 'cause it seems right doesn’t mean it is. Now, can we get back to the shop? They’re going to start listening in soon.”

“You’re not going in until you explain.”

“Honestly Spike, it’s a lot less devious then you think. Buffy was patrolling and she thought we should baby-sit Dawn. After she went to bed, we went to Buffy’s bed for a quickie. We didn’t turn the lights on so Dawn wouldn’t wake up, thank God. So Anya didn’t notice as I took them off. And when we got dressed she thought they were Buffy’s, and put them in the drawer. What else could I do?”

“How about tell them they’re yours?”

“Okay, I realise everyone thinks we have a kinky relationship, but we are of the kinky that just isn’t. I talked to her about it once, pretending it was in theory. She said, pretty blunt, you know her, that she was the girl not me, and if she wanted to date a girl, she 'would have kissed Tara that one day at the store that you didn’t know about- oops’. So now I just wear them when she won’t know. At work, and normally when we baby-sit we don’t have sex. Leaving them behind was a mistake.”

“You were them during construction?”

“It’s not like people are looking at my ass to see if I have panty lines or not. Come on fangless, think.”

Spike was blown by the sheer nerve of Xander. He had just gotten an obviously deep secret ripped from him, and he was still being a jerk to the person who could reveal it. Not that that’s what he was interested in. “Well, if you ever want a minute with someone that likes the look, you know where my crypt is.”

It was hard to have a cool exit when you had to wrap a flannel around you so you didn’t light on fire, but Spike thought he managed it pretty well that day.


End file.
